Lady May
by Enchanted Evangeline
Summary: Random Drabble that was once a oneshot is now multichaptered! random storytelling between Neal, Merric, Kel and Dom. let the embarrassment ensue!
1. Chapter 1

He threw back his head and laughed. Really laughed. Body rocking, eyes tearing, laughing.

He laughed like that for a few minutes before calming down and coming back to reality.

Reality hit hard.

For those few blissful moments he forgot about the war, about how his life and the lives of those he knew and loved were in danger. For those few moments he heard nothing but his laughter and the laughter of his friends.

All this came rushing back at him, but he couldn't help but smile. Sure, this war was horrible, and he felt like he couldn't help enough, but he was allowed to feel happy every now and again.

Especially when he had friends like his, you couldn't help but be happy every now and then.

"Please, Dom, tell us another story about Neal as a wee little child. I can't get enough!"

"Yes, dearest cousin, tell our friends another sidesplitting misadventure I've had. Take no heed of my feelings..."

"If you insist, Meathead." Dom looked around at his friends and wiggled an eyebrow. "Now, I know you are aware that Nealan wrote wonderful poetry about young ladies he happened to fancy," (Neal buried his head in his hands, and groaned dramatically), "but I know none of you know that Nealan here also wrote poetry about Cousin May."

"Cousin!" Kel shouted, putting a hand to her cheek as a Player would, "Neal! Family! Really!"

Merric choked on his ale trying not to laugh.

"She wasn't blood related! She married Dom's eldest brother!"

"Yes, yes, fine Meathead, may I proceed with my story?"

"Story away. I have one for you, dearest cousin."

"It all started when our beloved Meathead was 5, and my eldest brother Derek began courting a young woman, Lady May. One day, Cousin Meathead and the other Queenscove relatives came to visit, and when Meathead was introduced to May, he literally started drooling."

Kel hit the table with her fist and choked out, "DROOLING!", almost falling off the bench.

Merric was fairing no better, as he almost cracked his knee slapping it so hard.

Dom wiped tears from his eyes and continued, "All through dinner, he stared at May, often times his spoon missing his mouth. That evening, I went to his room, and saw him writing."

"At 5?" asked Merric, slightly doubtful.

"Humph!" Neal slouched down, crossing his arms in front of his chest, "I'll have you know I was an EXCELLENT scholar!"

Kel snorted, "That's almost as funny as you swimming in the pig feed."

Neal "humphed" again, but kept quiet.

"Yes, well, Nealan here was writing a love poem about our dear May. Until he was 10. I'll assure you, the poor girl was quite afraid of the little bugger."

Merric snickered, "How did that first poem go?"

Dom thought for a moment, "Lady May, your yellow hair smells like hay, to see your face again I'd pay."

The three friends were in an uproar as Neal merely stared at him, his face cold and angry. "Ha-ha-ha, I know, let's all laugh as Sir Neal's expense."

"Thanks (snort) for your (chuckle) per(snort)mission, Meathead."

Neal sat up and said haughtily, "At least my poetry skills have improved since then!", which only caused the other 2 adults to laugh even harder.

Neal opened his mouth again to try and tell a story about Dom, but Kel waved her hand, "Whatever story you have about Dom, Meathead, it won't be near as funny as his. You were just a funnies child."

Dom chortled. "That you were, Meathead, that you were."

Merric grabbed his stomach and cried, "Neal, for the love of Mithros, unless you want to introduce children as crazy as you, don't reproduce."

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A/N: Hm, this was just a little random one-shot that I just randomly wrote. I was actually trying to write some angsty/love thing for either Tortall, Harry Potter or Daughters of the Moon, but I just couldn't be angry enough. So this randomly came out. I may use the beginning for another story, but I don't know. This was just to hold me over because I've been having MAJOR writer's block, been lazy, had school, and basically have been just reading fics.

Hope you all slightly enjoyed this random drabble.

-AE


	2. Chapter 2

Neal 'hmphed' and slumped as low as one could possibly slump while perched on such an uncomfortable bench. How _dare_ they laugh at his expense!

His three "friends" were still chortling over his "Lady May Fiasco" as Domitan had so eloquently stated it only moments ago. He had to think of a more embarrassing tale from one of their pasts to clear his name. And quickly.

Kel was on the verge of tears when Neal cried out, "Well Merric had a horribly graphic dream about dear Keladry here and then proceeded to have a squire's crush on her!"

Everyone went silent at Neal's sudden outburst, and when the color drained from Merric's face and had almost swallowed a fly, Neal smiled smugly and tousled his hair. "Ha."

Kel turned her head _very_ slowly to Merric, "Seriously?" she whispered. And Merric, whose mouth was still hanging open, nodded his head ever so slightly.

Dom, knowing that this was a horribly awkward situation for everyone but the annoying Meathead, cleared his throat and added, "And I know for a fact that Meathead here had a crush on Kel during their Page years."

Neal didn't absorb Dom's latest comment until Kel turned her head towards him, her mouth open in shock and her eyebrows lost amongst her bangs. "You did?"

Neal was confused, "Did what?"

Dom ignored his cousin and with the smallest of smiles playing on his lips added, "Wrote so in his letters to me. Wouldn't be surprised if he'd written poems about your jousting skills."

Neal finally comprehended what Dom was saying and slamming his fist on the table yelled, "I _didn't_ have a crush on Kel! I only said I MISSED her during our squire years because I barely saw her and she was my best friend!" He sat plopped down in a heap, his head in his hands. "Gods!"

Everyone was silent (aside from Neal's incoherent mutterings) for a moment, not really knowing how to address such an overall awkward situation.

"Well," Merric started coughing, "seems as though Kel has unknowingly had quite a few admirers."

Kel continued to stare blankly at the center of the table, "Apparently."

Dom, finally finding his voice, tried to coax Kel out of her apparent discomfort and possible coma-like silence. "And I'm sure she still has plenty."

That sly comment seemed to do the trick as Kel finally looked up again wearing a wry smile, her left eyebrow cocked as she dryly responded, "Of course! Can't you see my potential suitors lining up to ask for my hand in marriage?"

Dom, slightly embarrassed and offended, opened his mouth to respond, but Kel raised her right palm to call for silence. "No, you don't, Sergeant Domitan. And you know why?" She shook her head, "No, don't try to retract what you said or make an excuse, it doesn't matter. This is a ridiculous discussion and needs to go on no further. So before everyone starts to debate, let's just forget this ever happened."

"Wow, Kel. Didn't know you knew so many laaaarge words to sprinkle such an eloquent monologue with."

Neal was silenced with a slap up the side of his head from both Dom and Merric.

"You never know when to shut up, do you, Meathead?"

A/N: I know, I didn't think I'd resurrect any Tortall fics myself, but hey! I started reading my KD story, "She Will Be Loved" and thought, "wow, this sucks." So I read my one-shots and thought, "Meh, I could go with these when I'm bored." So, I went. So, how is this besides random and short? Maybe I'll have more later on? Perhaps a confrontation between Kel and Dom? Maybe just some more random storytelling? I don't even know yet...But if you want to read a totally random Harry Potter fic about the Weasley Twins and a Veronica Mars-esque character, check out Verdegrises by Tate Dean, aka my other fanfic penname for Harry Potter fics that I read. Check it outttttt! (I don't update it tooo often, but there's like 6 chapters? I think?)

PLEASE REVIEW!

-Atlanta Enchanted!


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